Right now, I am freaking out. I'm not sure why I'm so worried, but I am. Tomorrow morning (or shall we say, the crack of dawn) I'm doing my first Bootcamp. I AM PETRIFIED. I've done brutal exercise before but this just scares the living daylights out of me as I know it's going to be bad. But bad, in a good way of course ;)
The thing thats worrying me the most is the fact that the Bootcamp starts with a 'running warm-up'. A run around the location. And this is just the warm-up?! Christ, I'm in trouble! I cannot run to save my life. Like, quite literally, If my life depended on it, I would just die as I'm so bloody useless at running. I hate it! I can feel all my bits wobbling up and down and I get so out of breath so fast, and my calves burn instantly. What am I going to do?! I spoke to my trainer yesterday who reassured me that the whole of Bootcamp is individual and there are ways around the run (I could power walk it and cut corners) which does reassure me to a certain point but i know I'll just be the fat girl that comes last, like I always have been. But I suppose I've got to grow some balls and accept that I've got to start somewhere and every time I go it will get better. This is just the scariest thing I've ever done and I've made it worse by putting so much pressure on myself to do this because, historically, i quit. I quit at everything; university, diets, gym, exercise, jobs, the list goes on. But there comes a point where I've just got to stuck with it, whether I like it or not because in the long run, it will be for the better.
As an anxious person, tomorrow is quite frankly scaring the shit out of me but I know I'm just getting worked up and being a drama queen. It's not going to be pleasant, it's a Bootcamp for Christ' sake. But this could be the first day of the rest of my life and the big step to the huge and life changing new start. :)
Cornish Beauty.
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